#with none of the charm of the real Raleigh so far

[the-unconquered-queen]

Anyway, three chapters in and ACT might just be the horniest Choices book I’ve played, which is exacerbated by the fact that it has a pretty un-horny premise and the “steamy” dialogue is always forced where it makes no sense

[the-nazario-chug]

The Shallow

Author's Note: Hope you guys enjoy this! I've been wanting to make a Raleigh fic forever lol I'm actually really proud how this turned out, which does not happen often.

Summary: Leraine Young, AKA Raine, has returned to the Madison Square Garden. This time not as the opening act, but the act. However, her notorious fake-ex crashes the party (in the best way).

Pairing: Raleigh Carrera (M) x MC (Leraine Young)

Word Count: +2,100

Disclaimer: Pixelberry owns Platinum and Raleigh Carrera. A Star Is Born and all the rights belong to Warner Bros. Pictures.

The energy of the concert hall is on fire. When a crowd of twenty thousand people is stomping their feet and chanting her name like she just won the world series, it's hard not to get nervous. And excited. Also nauseous.

With that in mind, she should try not to puke on stage in front of thousands of her fans, a jumbo-tron, and just about the entirety of the American press.

So no pressure, as usual.

Raine! Raine! Raine! Raine!

Needless to say Zadie and her team had gone all out for this show. Raine is all dolled up in a gorgeous purple and blue gradient leotard, covered in sparkling rhinestones and flashy tassels, complemented with rhinestone fringe ankle-boots. Her black wavy hair dyed with a dark red ombre and her makeup neutral with a dark lip (though with a sprinkling of blue eye-shadow glitter). She's clutching Raleigh's guitar which he had given to her the day they met, something she now considers her good-luck charm when the man himself isn't present. (it also goes well with her outfit, which is a plus.)

Speaking of her handsome as sin, totally not fake ex-boyfriend, he did say he'd be here to send her off tonight. Raine's seen hide nor hair of him, but she didn't want to take it personally. If he’s busy she knew they could meet up later and celebrate. Unfortunately, it is a sacrifice commonly made in their line of work, so they both tried their damnedest to not let it get between them.

As Raine tries to sneak a peek through the curtains, she feels a tap on her shoulder and turns (definitely hoping for it to be Raleigh) to see Fiona grinning at her. Looking suspiciously like the cat that just caught the canary.

"There's been a change of plans. Open with your rendition of 'Shallow' from A Star Is Born. It'll be our little announcement for your cameo in the movie."

This is a little odd, it wasn't often Fiona changed plans last minute. It didn't really make sense how eager her manager looked either as she was hardly easy to please.

It also happened that song was supposed to be a duet.

Though as the cheers rose to a roar, the thought was swept from Raine's mind. It wasn't so unusual to go solo for a duet, and she has a long performance to ready herself for. So, she takes deep breaths as Fiona gives her a thumbs up and hurries off to the wings.

Despite the cacophony out on the stage, Raine can still hear the echo of her heels beat in sync with her thumping heart. And when she grins wide and gives a cheery wave, they become even louder than she thought possible. Raine laughs in delight.

The lights blare down and she can hardly see a face in the stadium.

"What's up MSG! How are we feeling tonight?" Raine yelled into her microphone as she yanked it from the stand, and turned it to the screams from the audience.

"I'm thrilled to be here for all of you. I know you're as hyped as I am for the new movie 'A Star Is Born' coming out this fall. So tonight I'm happy to start off with the premiere hit 'Shallow' as the cherry on the cake! I hope you all enjoy!"

In the excitement, Raine adjusts her guitar and readies herself to strum the melody. A lilting acoustic intro filters through the speakers.

Only thing is, Raine hadn't started playing yet.

Her chest constricts as the cheers rise again in intensity. In the din, Raine can hear footsteps against the floor of the stage, and when she turns she can't hide the way her jaw drops.

"Tell me somethin' girl,"

Raleigh is sauntering towards her, all bow-legged swagger and strumming his own guitar. He doesn't even bother to keep that cocky smirk off his face 'cause he knows he got her good.

"Are you happy in this modern world? 

Or do you need more?"

Looking up at her through his lashes, eyes bright and his hair tousled to perfection. He's wearing a tank top with a suspiciously familiar rhinestone design and how dare you level tight denim jeans. Suddenly her heart is racing for an entirely different reason than just the thrill of performing. This had been planned since the start and she was none the wiser. Last minute change of plans, her ass.

Raine decides not to bother getting lost in all the details though. Any surprise that includes her man serenading her while looking fine as hell, she isn't going to complain about.

"Is there somethin' else you're searchin' for? 

I'm fallin'"

He was close now, real close. The soft timbre of his voice rolling over her in waves, tempting Raine to close her eyes and appreciate the soothing tones. The only thing stopping her is Raleigh's eyes, piercing hers with an intense honesty and longing she had only recently gotten to see in earnest. A gaze she was starting to adore. Her own stare, meanwhile, wanders down to his arms that are looking too good in that top, the muscles tensing with a light sheen of sweat reflected from the packed stadium and lights. She'd be embarrassed from her ogling, if his survey of her in return wasn't as shameless.

And as sure as Raine is that they are not supposed to be seen together like this in public, she should have guessed that Raleigh would be this ostentatious while breaking that rule.

"In all the good times I find myself longin',

For change,

And in the bad times I fear myself."

While Raleigh continued plucking the instrumental, Raine finally registered some fans talking in her periphery.

"Oh my god, didn't they break up?"

"He's trying to win her over! That's so romantic!"

"They still look so good together, are they gonna start dating again?"

Taking another breath in, Raine knows her part was coming up. So she gives into her temptation and takes a step closer to him. Close enough that she can feel the heat of his breath against her cheek. She raises the mic between them.

"Tell me somethin' boy,

Are you tired of tryin' to fill that void?

Or do you need more?

Ain't it hard keepin' it so hardcore?"

Filling the space between them with her voice, she thought about how fitting this is for them. Though she didn't doubt it was intentional. Now she understood why Fiona would have this change of heart, allowing them to be seen like this. It was as dramatic as their faux break-up for sure. Generating hype for her upcoming cameo and therefore, her royalties.

But Raine didn't care about that. All she cares about is the man in front of her. The spotlight is shining a halo around his perfect-messy hair, and she finds herself wanting to run her fingers through it. For a brief moment, she wonders if her urge would give their game away somehow. (Not that she already had with that lean in.)

Screw it. Raleigh can surprise Raine at her own concert, she's allowed to have some surprises up her rhinestone encrusted sleeves too.

"I'm fallin'," As Raine continues the chorus, she reaches up strokes her free hand through his dark locks. She holds in her own giddiness while Raine swears she can hear squeals erupt from the crowd, but Raleigh is all she wants to keep her attention on. A surge of satisfaction and affection grows in her chest when she sees the shivers that course through him, and how his eyelids flutter in pleasure. The almost inaudible rumble from Raleigh's chest that she can feel from their short distance apart. Pride that she's the one who can do this to him.

"In all the good times I find myself lo-ongin'

For change," Her hand drifts from his hair to his ear, and cheek. Restraining a shiver of her own as her thumb rubs the stubble along his jawline, then glides to his mouth and grazes his bottom lip. Raleigh's eyes are dark and the electricity of the connection between them sparks with vigor. God, she wants to kiss this man already.

All good things to those who wait, she decides, especially when Raleigh Carrera is concerned.

"And in the bad times, I fear myself-"

Her voice echoes throughout the Garden, and as Raine reaches up again to brush a stray lock of hair from his brow, it feels like they're the only two in the world. In the silence of thousands holding their breath, and the air crackling with unspoken tension, she's never felt so connected to a single person.

In that moment they both grin, their hearts zinging with that knowledge. Raine tilts her head back slightly and serenades the hell out of her beau. When her belting voice reverberates, the tension cracks and their fans cheer unabashed again.

"I'm off the deep end, watch as I dive in

I'll never meet the ground!

Crash the surface, where they can't hurt us, we're far from the shallow now."

High off the thrill of the stage, and each other, Raine and Raleigh lean closer and sing together. Practically nose to nose, Raine can hear the cheeky intrusive thought in the back of her mind that he is so it for her, now.

"We're far from the shallow now…"

As the crowd's cheers reach their peak again, they both stay in each others space. For a second it feels like they're in their own little bubble again, like no one could hear them.

Until Raleigh mutters something that is very much heard by everyone.

"Be my girl, Leraine."

Raine's eyes dart to his, to find him already looking up at her with a soft smile.

"Raleigh… ?" Right now that's all she can squeak out, she knows he's aware how close the mic is to their faces. And their audience is almost unnervingly silent. Raine supposed some part of her knew they'd get back together in public after the concert but she wasn't expecting it to be so quick.

He smiles patiently, and steps back before going down on one knee. Thousands of voices gasp and mutter amongst themselves. But Raleigh's only looking at her.

"I know I messed up big time, and I didn't realize it until it was too late. I never meant to hurt you. And I never expected how much that would hurt me. 'Cause you make me want something real, Leraine. You make me want to be real. What's between us is like nothing I've ever known before, and I was an idiot for not seeing that sooner. Do you wanna give this another chance?" Raleigh's voice is soft but sure, like he's been waiting to let all of that out forever.

Some of it is for show, Raine isn't naive enough to think otherwise. So no one suspects their first go around was fake. But what Raine does know is his feelings are real and just for her. What the public knew didn't matter as long as she had Raleigh Carrera in her life.

Pulse hammering, Raine smiles and whispers into the world.

"Yeah, I'd honestly love that."

Raleigh grins and surges up to meet her, and all of the sudden he's holding and kissing her finally without anymore waiting necessary. And all she can think is woah. Their guitars and the microphone who knows where now. Hopefully not smashed on the ground.

Still, she doesn't regret what just happened in the slightest.

In the elated screaming around them, Raleigh mutters against her lips, "I'm totally gonna spin you."

"What? You are not-!"

He's got that shit eating grin on that she knows means, I've got a great idea everyone else knows is bad but none of you can stop me.

"Yup, I'm doing it. This is happening."

"Raleigh, no it's-!! Auh!"

Even with her protests, she's still laughing when Raleigh lifts her by her thighs and spins her on the stage. Much to the delight of everyone in attendance.

When they're both out of breath and Raleigh's put her back in his arms, the words he whispers in her ear Raine knows are meant for her alone.

"I'm glad I've got you keeping me honest, love."

Lights flash around them as he keeps holding her close, no doubt the paparazzi and fans alike capturing every moment. And just like the song from their impromptu duet Raine can see with clarity how crazy her life has now become. How deep they both are in this sea of stardom.

Well, so long as Raleigh’s there with her, she can’t bring herself to mind.

[softlyblues]

The music wraps around the trees, hanging off the branches, playing with the dangling leaves and teasing the sky. It pours down to meet me, hanging off my fingertips, dancing along my shoulders, and the cold heat of it makes me shiver, makes me yelp in fear and discomfort. Something is running to find me, and I am out of breath - I can no longer outrun it.

I don’t know what it is. All I know is that I need to escape it, them, him, her, or I won’t leave the woods alive. 

***

The first impression I get of Ireland is the first impression most people get of Ireland. It is raining and it is cold, and the sun is hidden behind thick grey clouds, and the wet is seeping into my boots and through the strip of fabric between my hood and my neck. My knuckles are blue around the handle of my suitcase, and my thumbs have turned white without circulation. 

“This is the house,” says the man driving the car we’re in, the window-wipers scraping tunefully across the windscreen every half-second to combat the downpour.

He is called Joshua Raleigh, and he’s who I’ve been in contact with over the last year to finalise the purchase of the aforementioned house. Today is the first time I’ve met him, and I’m surprised - my head had conjured a greasy estate agent, red-cheeked and wet-haired, hair dye and cheap suits, and Raleigh is none of those things. He’s young and sandy blonde and he’s wearing an unbranded red polo neck with bleached blue jeans, muddy at the cuffs. A wedding ring on his finger, and a hole in his left ear where a piercing must normally sit. 

Part of our agreement had been that he pick me up at Dublin Airport and drive me the rest of the way to the house, and I’d been dreading small talk with the real estate agent of my nightmares, but the drive has been quite pleasant - weather chat, talk about families, about Ireland, about how much Raleigh enjoys working around the little village I’m moving to. About his wife, his newborn baby. 

“Where?” I ask. All I see outside are trees, turning golden. Toast in the mornings.

Trees, and rain. 

“Through there - the drive is pretty long, but you’ll see it in two seconds,” Raleigh leans forward over the steering wheel and smiles, top teeth sticking out over his bottom lip. “There!”

I copy his pose, peering around the trunk of a peeling tree, curiosity itching out at me. I’ve only seen the house in pictures, and Raleigh’s been more than accommodating with a digital camera and the services of gmail, but seeing it in person is different. The house, the whole reason I’ve uprooted and left without much of a word to anyone. 

He says house, but in truth it’s more of a cottage. Nestled in the woods near the village of Kilnaloe, it stands a little rough and ready, surrounded by hedge plants gone wild, birch trees far taller than the house itself, ivy wrapping around the doorframe like a green embrace. It’s grey stone, and would look a bit forbidding if not for the shiny yellow door, the cheerful square windows, the red bricks squaring off the corners. The leaded roof; the squat chimney. It peers from between the trees like a curious animal, not particularly frightened of us, like it knows it’s stronger than us.

“Is it what you thought?” Raleigh has pulled up on the leafy patch by the door, a place I can imagine parking. He’s smiling across the car at me. 

“Absolutely,” I breathe, my hands fisted in the material of my shirt so as not to do something really stupid, like flail and whack Raleigh in the face. “It looks just like the pictures!”

He laughs softly. “I can give you your key now, if you’d like. You can ring me if you want a lift into town proper - I know you didn’t get that much notice, and if you want to sort something out at the car dealership -”

“I’ll ring you,” I promise. I’ve google-mapped it, and the walk from the cottage into Kilnaloe is just less than an hour, doable if I fancy killing time. Raleigh has already done so much for me, from the pickup at the airport to the endless emails and negotiating on my behalf, and I fancy the idea of a walk through the place I intend to stay in, and finally make home. 

“So you want the keys now?”

“If you don’t mind.”

Raleigh gets out of the car and slams the door, and I follow suit, my brown boots crunching the brown leaves into the brown mud, different shades convalescing into one. “Miss Delilah Hale,” he says, jokingly sincere, “It is my utmost pleasure that I, Joshua Raleigh, should present to you the keys of your new estate. My deepest wish is for you to enjoy it as the occupants of the mists of time did before you-���

I hold my hand out, palm up, smiling. “Thanks for the speech.”

When he drops the keys into my hand, already keyringed with a little Raleigh & Simpson Estates fob, I shake them to hear the jingle. “Call me Lilah,” I add, as I’ve already had to remind him once at the airport. “Please.”

“Lilah, then,” he says. “Do you want me to show you around? Check everything is in order? The movers came a bit earlier than we thought, but we got the boxes in all right and there’s no damp in the house.”

“Oh, I’m sure,” I assure him, and although he seems eager to help me I can’t help but notice the way he shifts from foot to foot. It’s been a three hour drive from Dublin, and he must have been up ridiculously early to make the drive on time and collect me. “I can show myself around just fine if you want to go home-”

“But ring me-”

“And I’ll ring you if I need anything,” I finish. “Thank you.”

“You have my number?”

“I have your number,” I wave my phone at him. Joshua Raleigh New House is how he’s saved in my contacts, although there isn’t anyone else I could confuse him with, what with the embarrassingly short length of the list of numbers. “Can I grab my-?”

“Oh, yeah!”

He lifts out my travelling case from his boot, setting it gently in the frosted mud, the airport stickers already peeling and fraying from the curled handle. “Grand?”

“I’ll ring you,” I say again, and he laughs sheepishly, rubbing the back of his short-shorn hair. In the three hours we’ve spoken in person, he’s come across as friendly to the extreme, careful and wary, and pleased to have finally met me. 

The sound of his car is quick to fade through the woods when he’s finally reassured enough to leave, the trees swallowing the noise whole with their rustling, smoothing it over like disturbed dirt after a funeral. Back to silence. Not quite - back to the noise of the woods, and the trees, growing and whispering and settling in their own pace, taking no notice of me or my case or the cottage or the keys, a world so removed they couldn’t care less. It’s peaceful. 

It’s exactly what I asked for. 

Inside the cottage is just like the pictures I made Raleigh take for me, countless angles and times of day and positions of furniture and so on, from the first time I saw the cottage on his website until just a few weeks before my plane landed in Dublin. Part of the charm was - is - that it comes furnished, and I don’t have to mess around with visits to Ikea and DFS and Argos and the Salvation Army looking for discarded chairs and ugly tables and stupid novelty light fixtures to turn something bare into a home, something I know I don’t have the energy for. 

So. The cottage. Inside the door I kick off my boots, setting them under the little hall table, a place where a landline phone sits off its hook, a little sticky notepad rests dust-covered and half-used, and a mirror hangs over, framed in silver wiring and hardly spotting at all. It’s too dusty to properly see through, though, and I wipe my finger on the surface: Lilah, I write, like a child breathing on a bus window to draw pictures on a cold morning. Through the lettering I see only glimpses of myself; the orange scarf I’m wearing, the red cold of the tip of my nose, the wisps of reddish-brown escaping from the ponytail I tied my hair in this morning.

I move further in. 

Raleigh is right, my moving boxes have arrived before me; they’re strewn halfway up the carpeted stairs, all across the hall, and spill into the two doors on the bottom floor as well. I never thought I had that many things until I had to pack them all away, silly useless collections that come from having been alive for a decade or three, things I couldn’t get rid of. Books and toys and clothes and clutter. 

I pop my head into the dark kitchen, cast my eyes over the oak table, the few chairs scattered around the flagstone floor, the oil cooker nestled in the hearth, ash turned to rock there from years of abandonment. Familiar to me from Raleigh - 

As is the other room on the ground floor, a large wooden-floored living room with seventies sofas spread out in front of the empty fireplace, paintings of muddy cows hanging on the wall, embroidered home samplers framed in their messy hoops, hung on withering strings. Now I’m excited to explore, and now I know I’m properly alone - 

Up the stairs. They creak comfortingly under my socks. Bedroom, bathroom, tiny study, a little storage space for the clutter. Spiders move away from my invasion, my rude disturbance into their home, and I do my best not to knock them from their spaces. There’s a bed, a heavy queen nestled in the crook of the far wall, where the roof slopes most severely, and I’ll need to get sheets and a proper duvet before I can sleep there tonight. Chest of drawers, wardrobe, mirror, carpeted floor, another fireplace with the grate hooked high against the empty space. A bookshelf mostly empty. 

The study is much the same, a sturdy oak desk under a window that gives me a view of the trees outside. Branches tap at the glass, seeking entry. A bookshelf, a few paintings, dark wooden floorboards. It’s pretty and airy all the same, the wallpaper yellow with a pattern of faded pink roses, delightfully seventies. 

Although none of it is really new to me, what with Raleigh’s pictures, it’s enough to make me smile happily, spread my hands over the windowsill burdened with bluebottle corpses. At last I’m here - here to stay. 

__________

so that’s the intro! i’m doing something completely new to me, which is original fiction in first person with a female main character... so i have to keep on brand in the big things. ireland, celtic gods, the woods, you know the drill. i had a lot of fun writing delilah and though she’s a little stiff in these first few parts, she comes into her own! joshua raleigh is also a cool dude. i hope you enjoyed this little excerpt! 

(twitter sweetlyblue) (ao3 softlyblue) (dm for commission details)